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Writer's pictureMaggie Englund, LMHC, NCC

Managing singles' sadness about Valentine's Day

The origins of Valentine's Day, like many holidays, are murky. In fact, it doesn't take too much digging to discover that regardless of the true history of the holiday, all of the origin stories center around the macabre. Catholic martyrs? Pagan sacrifice and forced marriage? Neither summons the image of flowers and chocolate for me.

Nevertheless, the modern meaning of the holiday is a time for romance and that is only really fun if you're in a relationship. Over the past few years, more and more businesses are catching on to the fact that there are many who would love to fast forward through the day altogether. I've now received countless emails from brands I follow offering to block me from Valentine's Day content if I so choose. That being said, we'll no doubt see all sorts of lovie posts on social media this weekend which can be hard if you find yourself without a Valentine. We all benefit from being our own Valentine as self-love is the precursor to all meaningful relationships. Here are some thoughts on how to be your own favorite Valentine this year!

Plan a movie night solo or with friends I don't mean curl up on the couch and cry into a box of chocolates while watching Titanic. (I mean go for it if you want) Put together a special movie night just for you or your closest pals. Build a pillow fort on the ground, grab your favorite snacks, and rent that movie you really wanted to see. Or perhaps grab a portable projector online and do a backyard bonfire and movie. Treat yourself to a special date all your own.

Plan a fun activity Do something out of the norm for yourself. Put together a game night with friends. Take yourself camping in the woods. Try a new hobby. Find something that really excites you and go for it! One of the best ways to wade through a difficult moment is to find something to look forward to in it.

Focus on self-care activities Take a bubble bath, read a fun book, do yoga, have a dance party in your PJs. Do something that reminds you of what great company you are. Being your own Valentine is about providing yourself the love and affection that we often expect/ want from others. It can be empowering to realize that we do not need anyone else to fill up our love bucket.

Treat yourself It doesn't have to be extravagant or over the top, but put on a nice outfit and take some great pictures. Pick up your favorite takeout or order in and have a bed picnic. Be a little decadent because you know you would if you were celebrating a boo. Be your own boo!


t is okay if you feel a bit down on Valentine's Day. The commercialism of the holiday is designed to exploit that inner desire to find romantic love. That being said there are so many ways we can show ourselves love no matter the day. It too is important to remember that Valentine's Day is about more than romantic relationships, and it can be a great time to celebrate the wonderful relationships you have with family and friends. However you celebrate this year is ok, and I'm here if you find yourself having trouble with it.

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